• Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?

    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Posted 09/23/2015 12:11 PM - Hide
    • I believe there were sumptuary laws that prevented all but nobility from becoming obese.

      I think Spanky would have been flogged or sent to fight in the Coliseum.

      What about other times, like the French First Republic, the Ottoman Empire, Athens, Colonial South America, etc.?
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:20 PM - Hide
    • I'm thinking of something along the lines of the galley scene from Ben Hur. :hmmm:
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:22 PM - Hide
    • Until recent times it was impossible to get as fat as Spanky. Not enough processed food with enough calories.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:23 PM - Hide
    • VP_Spiro_T_Cheney posted:
      He would have written witty epigrams trolling the fuck out of OCD Roman basementfags?

      He has a GED, no way he could handle Latin Declensions let alone be witty.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:24 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      I think Spanky would have been flogged or sent to fight in the Coliseum.

      You could cut him sternum to navel with a dagger and still not get through the fat to any vital organs. :interesting:
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:25 PM - Hide
    • VP_Spiro_T_Cheney posted:
      He would have written witty epigrams trolling the fuck out of OCD Roman basementfags?

      Fuck off, Brian.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 12:30 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      Until recent times it was impossible to get as fat as Spanky. Not enough processed food with enough calories.

      This is true. Not to mention, the sheer amount of physical activity required just to make it through the day. No automobiles or appliances, etc.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 01:29 PM - Hide
    • I wonder if any of the Roman ruins make reference to a Flabbius Maximus. There would be your answer.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 01:52 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      I'm thinking of something along the lines of the galley scene from Ben Hur. :hmmm:

      All the other galley slaves would have had to sit on the other side of the ship.

      :trireme:
      /
      WE CAN'T SEEM TO STOP GOING IN CIRCLES
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    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 01:54 PM : Edited 09/23/2015 01:54 PM - Hide
    • He would have been caged and set on display near the mammoths exhibit.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 02:46 PM - Hide
    • What a great Roman feast!
      \
      :spanky:
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:11 PM - Hide
    • Roman Holiday?
      \
      :bean:
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:15 PM - Hide
    • He'd still be a useless unemployable piece of shit, no matter the time period. And not paying one's bills in Roman times? They'd simply (and properly) kill him. He wouldn't have survived pus leg anyway.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:17 PM - Hide
    • He'd have been a fluffer for the nigger gladiators.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:19 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      He'd still be a useless unemployable piece of shit, no matter the time period. And not paying one's bills in Roman times? They'd simply (and properly) kill him. He wouldn't have survived pus leg anyway.

      No way would the Romans have wasted a potential spectacle. He would have fought the gladiators for sure.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:20 PM - Hide
    • He would be slowly turned, and roasted on a spit - that alone would provide the needed calories to get the Army through the hard times.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:21 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      . posted:
      He'd still be a useless unemployable piece of shit, no matter the time period. And not paying one's bills in Roman times? They'd simply (and properly) kill him. He wouldn't have survived pus leg anyway.

      No way would the Romans have wasted a potential spectacle. He would have fought the gladiators for sure.

      Gladistors were athletes. Shitewhale would die sobbing in about two seconds.
    •   [ Quote ] | [ Quote All ]
    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:54 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      . posted:
      . posted:
      He'd still be a useless unemployable piece of shit, no matter the time period. And not paying one's bills in Roman times? They'd simply (and properly) kill him. He wouldn't have survived pus leg anyway.

      No way would the Romans have wasted a potential spectacle. He would have fought the gladiators for sure.

      Gladistors were athletes. Shitewhale would die sobbing in about two seconds.

      But it would make great circus.
    •   [ Quote ] | [ Quote All ]
    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 09/23/2015 10:56 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      . posted:
      . posted:
      . posted:
      He'd still be a useless unemployable piece of shit, no matter the time period. And not paying one's bills in Roman times? They'd simply (and properly) kill him. He wouldn't have survived pus leg anyway.

      No way would the Romans have wasted a potential spectacle. He would have fought the gladiators for sure.

      Gladiators were athletes. Shitewhale would die sobbing in about two seconds.

      But it would make great circus.

      I'd give it a standing ovation.
    •   [ Quote ] | [ Quote All ]
    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 10/12/2017 01:17 PM - Hide
    • Spanky does still go to Roman Holiday IV in Bartlett, IL.
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    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:12 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      He'd have been a fluffer for the nigger gladiators.

      i think we can close this thread now
      \
      :snob:
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    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:13 PM - Hide
    • He would serve as a manwhore/he-pussy for convicted felons, just like he does now.
    •   [ Quote ] | [ Quote All ]
    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:25 PM - Hide
    • Only rich people were fat. They would have assumed he was very very wealthy and made him Consul.
    •   [ Quote ] | [ Quote All ]
    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Historians ITT, what would have happened to Spanky, if he were transported to earlier times, like say the Roman Empire?
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:30 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      . posted:
      I'm thinking of something along the lines of the galley scene from Ben Hur. :hmmm:

      All the other galley slaves would have had to sit on the other side of the ship.

      :trireme:
      /
      WE CAN'T SEEM TO STOP GOING IN CIRCLES

      :lol:
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