• Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017

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    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:12 PM - Hide
    • Jack Brisco posted:
      Bummer. I understand the Mohave Desert is pretty dry.

      https://merced.craigslist.org/hou/d/homeless/6342886163.html

      Homeless (Merced)

      60 year old male Homeless looking to catch a break. I'm looking for a place to put up my tent for myself and my dog. The weather is changing and I would like to set up camp soon before the rain comes. Please if you could find it in your heart to make this happen I would greatly appreciated it

      Jer?
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:13 PM - Hide
    • Only if she "helps". Since beggars can't be choosers, believe anyone who takes her in without her "helping" will find they've taken in a real pain in the ass. In CA, unlawful detainer is usually due to non-payment of rent. Ad has pics. Not bad at all.

      https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/sbw/d/attn-damsel-in-immediate/6342886720.html

      ATTN: DAMSEL IN IMMEDIATE DISTRESS!!!! (long beach)

      Nationally published professional glamour and lingerie Model/ aspiring actress/ veteran college student/ fit/ tan / blonde/ SOCAL BABE has found herself faced with a lengthy court appointed unlawful detainer/eviction of her current residence (1 bed apt i have beeen renting for the past year).
      MUST EVACUATE IMMEDIATELY!
      Since funds are extremely limited at the moment I'd be open to meeting/agreeing upon a courtship in exchange for providing comfortable and adequate room and board. I'm clean and have a serious need to keep a tidy house. I hate clutter, Know-it-alls, and one-uppers (need not reply).
      I have a 1 year old pomeranian puppy that MUST accompany me and also occupy the offered living quarters.
      I dont lie, cheat, or steal havent since I was forced to pick up trash on the side of the 10 freeway after getting arrested at Kohls when i was 18.
      I also have professional culinary training and finished out my military 4 year tour as a personal chef for the officer's club at a Sector unit facility in VA.
      I've attached recent pictures of myself to prove that I'm for real and not some hunchback on some kind of vengeful CL rant.
      please feel free to email/text ASAP if sugaring and housing my sweet little baby ass in exchange for being provided with the very pleasure of my company, maid services as well as culinary skills.
      ****If you intend on replying back to this ad please be reasonable. I>E No one over 45 whose only has a the underneath stairway Harry Potter Ass cupboard of his mothers condo to offer. ******
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:15 PM - Hide
    • In a word, no. In three words, no fucking way. Ad has pics only of the THREE dogs and cat, not of the people.

      https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/sha/d/husband-and-need-place-to/6342815802.html

      Husband and I need a place to stay for a short time (Cypress)

      Hello, my husband and I are in desperate need of a place to stay for probably a couple weeks, maybe longer depending on the situation. A roommate situation would be really good. We do have dogs and a cat though and we are not willing to give them up. We have a black lab who is obsessed with playing, a very lazy bulldog, and a Chihuahua that prefers to sleep 20 hours a day. Our cat is the most awesome cat ever (in my opinion) he thinks he's a dog, will come when you call him, stays inside, all of them are very well potty trained. We are desperate right now, we have a little bit of money now and we both have jobs we just haven't started them yet. We do have proof of our jobs though. I will beg if you want me to, we just can't be in our car because of out pets. We would even be willing to stay in an rv or travel trailer for now
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:19 PM - Hide
    • Sorry, Tracy. Nobody gives a flying fuck about that FOUR hundred dollar check, when they can easily get twice as much just for a room, much less a house or apartment, from someone willing to pay who has no pets. Ad has pics. White trash.

      https://losangeles.craigslist.org/sfv/sha/d/400-govt-check-to-homeowner/6342708353.html

      $400 $400 govt. check to homeowner or apt lease holder (SFV)

      Hello, Im Tracy. I have a dog named Amos. We are looking for a room for rent.
      I am in a program through the Social Services office that offers $400 a month for rent to the legal home owner, or an apartment lease holder.
      You will get a check mailed to you on the 1st of every month, for apartment lease holders, to your lease manager.
      I have a credit and background check from uber and character references available upon request.
      I am not open to sexual advances, if that is your motive i suggest you move on. I have zero tolerance for predators.
      I keep a very clean house, i like to cook, i dont have parties. I am courteous, i like to help, i also like to keep to myself sometimes.
      My dog does not mix with other animals. Like me, hes been attacked too many times and hes very protective. He loves kids, and most people. Everyone who knows him loves him . Your home will be very safe. He doesnt tear up furniture and completely house trained. If there are other animals , i keep him separated.
      I have a lot to offer to someones household. I just need to find my place.
      Please meet me, and form your own opinion.
      Thank you,
      Tracy and Amos.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:23 PM - Hide
    • Bullshit. You'd be sorry taking them in...

      https://orangecounty.craigslist.org/hou/d/private-room-or-more-would-be/6342846506.html

      $13 Private Room or more would be ideal let's make an arrangement for rent (Orange County)

      I can pay rent every 1st for many months but for now not more than $250-$350 a month... right now I have nothing. I need this in a hurry so I can get my kid back! A residence. The Counties of San Diego & Orange allowed my Child's Father to get away with stealing our benefits from February to June routing us to being homeless. We can make what ever kind of arrangement up that you would prefer... I am a meticulous cleaner, awesome cook, great learner for new tasks, light contracting work, organizer, decorator, photographer, writer, singer... my bad forgot what I was describing myself for. No. So if you have a spare room or more & want to help an unfortunate single struggling mother fight for her child back (who shouldn't have been taken from my care in the first place) then please reply to my advert!!! Yes, I... I mean we have a loooonnnnnggggg sad messed up story, but, perhaps you can be that light... at the end of the tunnel that gives us a beginning on towards having a "Happy Home" like my little love talks about... it's what she deserves. By the way this doesn't have to be long term for I can still seek another place. Oh, also when I get a boost in income I will be able to pay more a month & I can always help out with food via our EBT. Important... please don't be all mysterious... I need to know a little bit of information about you & whoever else lives in the home that would possibly be the place my 5 year old & I lay our souls at night. You & I would need to meet up within the next day if possible or at least within the next two days & for me to lightly move in before the 18th which is the Court date that is to arrange where my child is placed for the long run. So please don't hesitate if you are a kind person with extra living space. We are awesome as I am sure you are as well. No regrets having us in your life; I promise, I promise, I promise!
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      Note: I never answer the phone to the number I entered here so unless your planning on leaving a voicemail then please reply via email or just text. Thank you.< /font>
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:25 PM - Hide
    • Stay where you are, kids. Nobody here cares about you. And people in general despise moochers.

      https://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/sha/d/looking-for-place-to-stay/6343423670.html

      Looking for a place to stay

      Me and my boyfriend are moving to Los Angeles in January possibly sooner. We are saving up money, but finding your own place in a state you don't know and you don't know anyone is extremely hard. If someone would be so kind to let us stay with you for cheap for atleast a month or so for us to find a job I would greatly appreciate it! We just need a spot on the floor. We will take care of our meals and also help keep the place clean. Who knows maybe we all get along and once we find a job we get a little bigger place and it will be cheaper for all of us.
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:30 PM - Hide
    • Jack Brisco posted:
      aspiring actress/ veteran college student

      At her age she's no longer an "aspiring" actress, sorry to break it to you honey
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    • .
    • Fscking Moron
    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 02:59 PM - Hide
    • . posted:
      Jack Brisco posted:
      aspiring actress/ veteran college student

      At her age she's no longer an "aspiring" actress, sorry to break it to you honey

      And WTF is a veteran college student?
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 03:38 PM - Hide
    • Akedra, there are reasons no landlord/management company will work with you. 22 years old and FOUR kids. Where is/are the baby daddy/ies? Jesus.

      https://sandiego.craigslist.org/csd/hou/d/single-mom-in-need-of-help/6342842689.html

      Single mom in need of help (CHULA VISTA)

      Hello my name is Akedra Hubbert i am 22 years old a single mom of 4 beautiful children that are ages 4 years, 2 years and my twins are 1 year. I work part time go to school full time and I'm currently looking for another job however i currently don't make enough to rent a 2-3 bedroom apartment on my own so i am in a program called Rapid Rehousing. They are similar to section 8, they will help me pay my rent. I can't find anyone willing to rent to me and work with me which has caused my children and I to be homeless. Email me and we can talk about rent, as well as other qualifications and schedule a viewing and go from there.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 03:45 PM - Hide
    • I'd advise against it.

      https://atlanta.craigslist.org/atl/sha/d/baby-sitter-for-free-rent/6343530393.html

      Baby Sitter for Free Rent

      Hello I am a mom of 2 searching for a place to live in exchange for baby sitting your kid(s) ... I'm a struggling mom just trying to get back on my feet ... I'll be working one day next week ,just turned in my background info today and waiting on it to come back..its clean by the way I've NEVER been to jail in my life Im a good person looking for A CARING PERSON WITH A HEART AND IS UPFRONT AND HONEST AT ALL TIMES AS YOU WILL GET THE SAME FROM ME... My car is n shop right now but I can get around with UBER , I CAN BE REACHED ANYTIME AT 678 600 2094 IM LOOKING FOR A PLACE ASAP LIKE TONIGHT I DNT WANT TO HAVE MY DAUGHTER OUT SIDE LATE AT NIGHT ...PLEASE SERUOUS KIND PEOPLE ONLY BECAUSE I KNOW WHEN A PERSON ISN'T RIGHT OR ISNT HONEST WITH ME..NO SEXUAL FAVORS IM NOT THAT TYPE OF FEMALE SO PLEASE DONT ASK ME... IM JUST TRYING TO GET OFF MY FEET FOR MY BABIES WOMEN ONLY , 678 600 2094 THANKS HAVE A BLESSED DAY :+) :+) :+)
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:04 PM - Hide
    • And the "week" goes on forever. That first paycheck - anything for you? Ha!

      https://dallas.craigslist.org/mdf/sha/d/place-to-stay-for-week/6343465534.html

      Place to stay for a week (Euless)

      Hey Craigslist. I was hoping someone could be gracious enough to help my family and I. I just gained employment, but don't get paid for a week. We need somewhere to sleep and bathe for a week. We can sleep in our vehicle if you aren't comfortable having house guests, but may we at least shower up and get ready for work. We are a God loving, honest, hardworking, young married couple that just needs a break. We'll be moving into a stable living situation once I receive my first check. If you are willing please don't hesitate to shoot an email. I'll be waiting.

      Thanks

      10/12 Today thru 10/19 Thursday
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:12 PM - Hide
    • Why doesn't she live with you, Asher?

      https://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/sha/d/low-key-woman-seeking-shelter/6342753346.html

      Low Key Woman Seeking Shelter

      Hi, I am seeking a rental for the sake of a woman I know in my neighborhood. She is middle aged, and attends AA meetings daily, where she has almost 2 years clean and sober. She is a gentle and sincerely nice woman, who is homeless right now. She is receiving disability income and can afford to pay rent every month, reliably.

      If you can be that safe, trustworthy person who can provide reasonable accommodations, please let me know. God will bless you.

      My name is Asher and you don't need to bother trying to get me to go to your commercial website. Please sincere inquiries only. Thanks in advance. Please email or call, no text.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:13 PM - Hide
    • Yeah, they all find Jesus when living on the street.

      https://dallas.craigslist.org/sdf/sha/d/need-room-to-rent-temporarily/6342693299.html

      $200 Need a room to rent temporarily hoping to get into missionary (Grapevine/Southlake)

      I'm going through a transition and complete life transformation and I just need a stable good environment home temporarily. I really think I'll be getting into missionary soon or I may have an extremely huge love story that just very well might come save my life. I'll be absolutely shocked in a good way but shocked if He really shows up but I believe it anyway. Lol Only time will tell. Anyway I am a good hearted, loving, kind, Christian lady who just needs a friend's hand to hold through this transition. I'm currently homeless and this is terrible. I don't want to get tied down anywhere because I truly think that is why I'm going through all of this. The Lord needs my full undivided attention and nothing holding me back anymore. I'm a drug free. I'm a non drinker for the most part. I drink socially. I don't smoke. I am willing to clean and keep the house together in exchange for a room and I'm a natural care taker. I can pay some rent but not much. Please message me if you think you could help me out until I figure out God's big plan He has for my life.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:14 PM - Hide
    • Jason, go to the Salvation Army.

      https://dallas.craigslist.org/dal/sha/d/need-home-but/6342557938.html

      Need a home but....

      Hello my name is jason i am in Richardson as of today i was in irving.. I was working but not making money so i lost everything.. So now i am back closer to dallas and mesquite etc... I am sleeping in the open with nothing but a sleeping bag and my back pack and a jacket.. I just started applying for jobs here in Richardson today. Only had time to apply for one job because i missed my first bus so i did not get here in good time.. So is there anyone out there willing to help by granting me a place to sleep shower and shave and help me look for work. Because as i said i lost it all in a matter of weeks home, car, clothes etc.. So i am needing new work now and i am tired of having to sleep on the streets or a park like i am at right now in Richardson. I hope i will hear back from the job i applied at tomorrow. But i am not sure. I am able to cook, clean and due house chores for rent. And once a month i get 99 or 98 dollars in stamps unless they cut those off as well soon. I get those on the 7th of every month.. So once a month i can buy food. But i do hope to be back to work less then a week. I just need help with a place to stay and transportation.. As i said i can clean and cook..

      If anyone think they can provide help please reach out to me.

      My name is jason and i am 35 years old.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:17 PM - Hide
    • Maybe if she "helps". Maybe.

      https://houston.craigslist.org/sha/d/need-room-asap-will/6342987811.html

      Need room Asap! Will clean,etc..in exchange for payment Need Help Temp (Humble)

      I am a 47 yo female who just needs a little help. I am trying to get on my feet, I've had some hardships in my life but am trying to move forward. I just need a temporary safe place to stay, I can help cook ,clean etc.. anything you need help with. I have helped elderly in the past too. I am a caring person with a big heart, I just need a place to lay my head while I look for jobs and do what I need to do. No weird stuff please. This is a serious post.
      Thank you,

      Tammy.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:22 PM - Hide
    • Sorry, chubsy-ubsy. Head for the shelter or the Salvation Army. Ad has pic. :yak:

      Rent free for Hispanic female (Killeen)

      Hello I'm posting on here because I'm needing a place to stay at rent free due to the fact that I'm currently unemployed and I'm seeking work just need a place to stay at until I can save some money and get on my own. If you don't seem to mind this situation I'm in and can offer me a free room that would be alot of help on your part. You can reach me at this person's number it's two five four four six six eight eight two nine
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:26 PM - Hide
    • This must be a joke.

      https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/sha/d/youtuber-needing-place-to-stay/6342856045.html

      $160 / 100ft2 - YouTuber needing place to stay (Henderson)

      Hi I am seeking a place near Henderson, I am a YouTuber so an office style place would be best. I don't make very much about $160 a month. I would like to pay that much for rent less if possible. I don't need a lot of room. 10 by 10 or smaller would be nice. I just need enough space to have a sleeping mat and a computer to stream on. Over all setup is simple. I am a gamer so I would spend 80 percent of time streaming live over twitch and YouTube. I do need internet access. I am working on trying to get more income however times are tough. I will pay a large check to you once I am successful. The amount being the equivalent to internet+utilities+400×how many months it takes for me to become successful on my streams. Also I am a Solar Sales Representative. So if you know anyone who is interested in solar, or you would like solar I would be happy to help. My schedule consists of Monday door to door sales Tuesday donate plasma, the work rest of day with solar sales. Wednesday streaming fest. Thursday morning school donate plasma pay who ever will be kind enough to let me stay with them, Friday-Sunday Streaming and School work. Currently because my Set up was stolen replace streaming with working solar sales.
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    • Re: Craigslist Champs - 12 October 2017
      Posted 10/12/2017 04:29 PM - Hide
    • For some reason, doubt that "good job" pays much. I'll pass.

      https://lasvegas.craigslist.org/sha/d/couple-needs-housing-bad/6342798670.html

      Couple needs housing bad (Any)

      We are a couple who just move to las vegas from Arizona desperately in need of housing because we decided to stay here because he landed a good job but we do not have a place to stay as of Friday the 13th. If you have any room a garage or any space will we can sleep and shower so that he can make it to work we will be able to pay rent she just got food handlers card and is looking for work daily. We dont have much money till the 20th but we are clean honest people who just need not be on the streets we can provide proof of employment if needed. Please we are also willing to help with anything around the house that you might need done. Please have a heart and help us out we are only looking to stay for 2-4 weeks till he gets paid and we can find a place can pay $100 a week. Thanks for reading our ad.
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